


Mostly Okay

by DoctorV



Series: Archive: Doc's Old-Ass Comics Fic (DC, JLU, etc.) [18]
Category: Blue Beetle (Comics), Booster Gold (Comics), DCU, DCU - Comicverse, Justice League, Justice League International (Comic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crossdressing, Friendship, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Mpreg, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, dream within a dream, ice cubes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-11-18
Updated: 2005-11-18
Packaged: 2019-04-03 23:52:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14007567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorV/pseuds/DoctorV
Summary: He can almost feel Ted's lips against his cheek still and something inside him keeps saying "no" over and over again like once he gets to the millionth "no" everything will go back to the way it was and Ted will be there again and it'll all be okay again.





	Mostly Okay

**Author's Note:**

> Archiving some old old OLD fanfic of mine. This was originally posted to LiveJournal 11/18/2005, with the author's note:  
> "It's...a sequel. A sequel to A Little Broken Inside. Why? Flippin' heck, I'm asking _myself_ that and I don't have an answer. (Possible series title: "Green and Gold")  
>  AU of the end of _OMAC Project_ , with Booster "going home" to somewhere in the present time instead of the future. I blame lakidaa and alba_aulbath, because Lakidaa has conversations with me that are pure crack and Alba encourages. Lakidaa? Here's your Sad Booster In Snow for ya. Alba? Crossdressing Booster action. And I do mean "action.""
> 
> Added to Ao3 (but backdated): 04/02/2018

The sky is grey and dark with snow-leaden clouds, turning the world to night too early. Booster stands ankle deep in slush, staring up at it as winter wind stirs tiny tornado flurries around him and freezes the tears in his eyes. A gust ruffles his hair and his face crumples as he drops to his knees in the snowbank.

 

"Ted, you bastard," he whispers. Then he raises his head to the stormy grey sky, arms wrapped around his swollen belly, and yells, "You got me pregnant and _died!_ " Sobs wrack his body as his voice drops to a whisper again. "The pain is unbearable...and I want pickle-flavor ice cream!"

 

"AH!" Booster jerks awake, sitting up in bed and staring down at his midsection. Flat. His breathing slows as the panic ebbs.

 

"Booster?" Ted mutters beside him.

 

Booster lays back down and sighs. "Just a dream," he says.

 

"Some dream." He can hear Ted's smile in the dark and smiles in response.

 

"I...It was snowing," Booster mumbles, blushing. "And I was...pregnant."

 

Ted chuckles and turns toward him. In their darkened bedroom, Booster can still see his eyes and the sliver of teeth in his grin. He reaches out to brush Booster's hair off his forehead and leans over to kiss his cheek.

 

Then his hand moves down to take Booster's and move it to his own abdomen. "Probably just sympathy pangs," Ted murmurs affectionately.

 

Under his hand, Booster can feel something kick.

 

Booster screams.

 

"The HELL, Gold?"

 

Booster sits up, panting as adrenaline courses through his body. His skin feels tacky with rapidly drying sweat.

 

The room is dark and he's in bed. Beside him is a blanket-covered lump.

 

"Ted?" Booster whispers confusedly.

 

He can see the lump move a little, pulling in on itself almost. "...No," Guy grumbles.

 

Then it all comes rushing back and he's no longer gasping for air, because he can't breathe through the tightness in his chest.

 

Booster lets his feet drop over the side of the bed, resting his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. He wants to go back, even if Ted is somehow pregnant. At least he's alive there. He can almost feel Ted's lips against his cheek still and something inside him keeps saying "no" over and over again like once he gets to the millionth "no" everything will go back to the way it was and Ted will be there again and it'll all be okay again. If he just gets Ted back, everything will be _okay_.

 

Standing, he quietly walks from the bedroom. The floor is freezing and a glance at the window confirms it's still snowing outside, the view framed by mounds of white built up outside the glass.

 

When he reaches the kitchen, Booster takes the ice tray from the freezer and twists it over a small bowl. The cubes fall in with quiet " _tinks_ " as they hit each other.

 

On the way back to the bedroom he detours to the bathroom. Setting the bowl on the counter, he opens a cabinet and pulls it out. He doesn't even have to look for it, because it's in and out of the cabinet so often that things don't have a chance to build up in front of it.

 

Booster settles the white wig on his head, careful to tuck away his own blond hair, and fixes it firmly in place. Staring into the mirror, he runs a hand over his chin, but he shaved last night and there isn't any noticeable growth yet.

 

Picking up the bowl of ice, Booster takes one out and rolls it around in his hand as he enters the bedroom, then he pops it into his mouth.

 

Guy is still an indistinguishable lump on the bed and Booster slowly pulls aside the covers. He sets the bowl on the floor and crawls up the bed over Guy's legs, blowing icy breath over the rapidly goosebumping skin.

 

"Booster what the hell—" Guy starts, then breaks off with a gasp as Booster reaches the apex of his legs and cold air brushes over rapidly heating skin. He shivers and lets out a muffled curse as a hot-cold tongue licks up the length of his cock.

 

Then Booster's crawling up Guy's body until they're face to face and he leans down to kiss the man with a sliver of ice on his tongue. Guy's hands clench bruising on his arms as he pulls away. Booster tilts his head the way he's learned makes the wig hide most of his face but the eyes, and stares down at Guy. His fingers trace lines that aren't there on the man's face and Guy grimaces and nods, letting go so Booster can sit back on his heels and Guy can dig through the drawer beside the bed.

 

Staring at the opposite wall, Booster listens to familiar sounds of cloth against skin and when a hand reaches for him it's almost Ted's. Booster tilts his head again and peers at the man through the fall of white hair in the way he knows says "coy" in female body language. The man growls softly and grabs him, pulling him in close and thrusting a tongue in his mouth. Booster shudders and melts against him with a sigh, one hand reaching up to stroke a cowled cheek while the other drops to squeeze a firm shoulder.

 

The man pushes him onto his back and Booster reaches over the side of the bed to snag another ice cube from the bowl. He sucks on it for a moment before taking it out to trail it down the chest, then leaning up to lick a wet, cold-peaked nipple. Booster slides the ice around and up the other man's back and lets go of it, feeling the man shiver as it glides down his spine.

 

Then a hand is running through his hair (wig) and cupping the back of his head while he mouths wet kisses up to the bottom edge of the cowl, blowing softly on the wet trail he leaves behind. There are muttered encouragements as he rolls the man onto his back and makes his way back down the well-muscled body, but they're low enough the voice isn't recognizable. He lets his hair (wig) brush skin and the body underneath him quivers, then jolts a little as he blows gently on the tip of the man's cock.

 

As he lowers his mouth, Booster hears the man scrabbling through the bedside drawer for the lube with one hand while the other presses on the back of his neck encouragingly. He can feel Ted's gloves through his hair (wig) and something inside him seems to find that somehow significant, but he's up and kneeling and kissing a man in yellow goggles too much to pay attention.

 

Booster arches his back when a slick finger probes his ass, tilting his hips for better access. He bites his lip against a moan as one finger becomes two, thrusting and twisting, and then it's not fingers anymore and they're rocking together.

 

He feels full and used and surrounded and covered and for fleeting moments of perfection it feels like maybe something isn't missing.

 

Then a blue glove reaches up to stroke snow white hair and he _knows_. They both know. They'll never be the other and they're probably a poor substitute anyway.

 

But they're all they have.

 

The illusion shatters around them in iridescent shards among the bedclothes and blue gloves hold Booster's wrists down against the mattress, teeth nip his jaw and then his lips and the kiss is punishing him for not being real. A part of him wants to punish back for eyes lying with Ted's goggles, but mostly he wants to cling to the cracked and broken pretending so he clings to the man ramming into him and holding him down and holding him together.

 

A mouth assaults his, driving his head down and when he opens his eyes again Booster sees Ted and he cries out as he flies apart.

 

When he comes back to himself, to strong arms anchoring him, gentle kisses spill across his face and neck and when a tongue plunges into his mouth again it curls around in it like Booster's mouth is the world's best chair and it has a book it wants to read.

 

A hand cups the side of his face, fingers sliding under the wig around his ear. It takes him a moment to realize the fingers are bare.

 

The kiss breaks as Booster pushes the cowl off and Guy removes the wig and they stare at each other naked of lies. Booster has to close his eyes, because the lie is comforting and he wants it back at the same time that he needs the honesty.

 

Guy holds him close and Booster wraps himself around the man as he pulls the covers back over them against the cold. It's not perfect, and sometimes it hurts, but mostly it's okay.

 

And as long as they're mostly okay, Booster can deal.

 

What else can he do?


End file.
